In the end I saw my ex Bernd Holler.
I was on a roof....he was on the ground.
He said, "Time for another Hug, come get it." As he smile a big Cheshire Cat grin.
I woke up immediately.
In my dreams this morning I remember trying to get this BIG beautiful Indian flute to one of my kids who is in college or some kind of boarding school.
I was trying to get it to him without him knowing it was coming from me so that he would not be scared and throw it away like his dad makes him do with anything I send to him.
Anyway, strange but beautiful dreams.
I appreciate these dreams.
Also, I awoke with the words in my head to tell my boys Christian Jacob and Andrew to "Not read TOO much".
You can fill your head with LOTS of knowledge and leave No room for faith....thus you fall out of balance. Do not read so much that you do not leave room for faith....
You need to keep in balance. One of these boys needs this I guess....maybe they all do?
On another note.... I watched the movie " The Blind Side" last night.
Wow, what a Heart felt movie.
It was so beautiful and we all really liked it.
Do go rent it IF you haven't seen it yet.
Also, I have been often prompted these days to leave Austin and Lindsey a message:
When you get married and also when you have my first grandchild, invite me to the wedding and birth.
I have sacrificed so much in life and have given so much of my time, talent, hard work, sweat, blood and tears into your life Austin, that I deserve this. Not just with you but with all of your brothers.
I have never put you in harms way and I have never done you wrong no matter what you think of me or your opinions on parenting.
I expect to be respected for all this in return.
You have your agency and eternal consequences to suffer for your decisions on this.
I have spent years following you and your brothers progress at a safe distance (with only love and tenderness and patience for all of you) ....so that your dad (my ex Bernd) would not continue to hurt me as you know, but it is now coming to that day when I no longer have that obligation to you young adults....nor the desire to continually be disrespected when you have the chance to do the right thing.
What I am reminding you and your brothers (and those with you that care) of IS that if YOU do not reach out to me, your Mother, to let me know where you are and what is going on in your life as I have begged you and your dad to do, that I know nothing about you. Please let me know these important things and let me know how you are....as I have done for you and your brothers all of your lives. Do the right thing.
I look forward to hearing soon from you about a wedding or birth...
Just know that I love you, your loved ones, and my future grandchildren deeply ....weather you choose to have me and my love and goodness in yours and their lives.... or not.
The choice to respect your Mother and her sacrifices and rights, will bring all of you happiness, if you so choose.
That's all ...I said my peace....and counted to three...
Have a beautiful day everyone ♥