~As I said, it's pretty obvious these days, that after many years of opportunity and reaching out to... my children do not want to contact me, their loving mother, who gave them life thru birth, cared for them thru their tiring and difficult baby years, and then for many years thru childhood tears, sweat and blood... before their father took and alienated them from me, because I divorced myself from him even. I still really wanted to be friends but he just couldn't do it.
Before this, I took many fun and loving photos of my children and our family, and our good times while they were babies and young children.
I did not disrespect their father Bernd before our divorce OR after as he tells others, although he has shown all of us that his bitterness towards me, and his lies, have painted an UGLY picture and memories of me, and our marriage, and their youth, for them, so that they would be forced to be OK with, or be able to live with, the alienation he created for them and me. This has twisted their view of their past lives.
I would like to correct this, the best I can, without having the opportunity to sit with them and tell them (with feelings) what I remember about their pasts and our GOOD TIMES.
I do take responsibility (and cry often about it) of not being strong enough to fight their fathers demons, threats, lies, etc., and not knowing how to protect them from the bitter life their father created for them and I over the past 11 years, but I can only ask them for forgiveness in my shortcomings....and pray that their struggles made them strong for the bitter and unforgiving world ahead.
With this said, I am going to start a Photo Album Series, so that they will be able to see with their own eyes many of the sweet and adorable memories I have of them and their lives when they lived with me. I am thankful that I was able to have a short time with them...to show them LOVE to best way I knew how.
I don't post these past fun photos to make them feel 'bad' about their lives today, by showing them the happiness we had when they were small. (The fact that their father and I unknowingly began to live lives without a moral compass, that eventually broke apart our cute family, may be WHY much of this happiness is gone today)
I show these photos because I want them to remember HOW happy life was, and CAN be, AND (I believe) CAN be theirs ANYTIME they choose to let light and God and happiness back into their lives.
No matter my situation in life, thru sadness and pain, I did my best to choose to be Happy....and to make our home happy and successful, and hopefully these photo albums will show this.
This REMINDER for my beloved children that they too can have this happiness at anytime they choose.... comes, I testify, from raising a righteous family with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, as taught more in detail found by the LDS community than anywhere else in the world I have discovered, in their homes, hearts, and actions... which includes God, the Priesthood Power of God in many situations throughout their lives, and then accepting their Godly Consequences. This is a MUST.
( which, frankly, is what Bernd and I did DO, our first 10-13 years of knowing each other, dating and being married under a LDS Covenant to live Godly lives, and indeed, photos will show, had such great success and happiness, BEFORE it fell apart when we rejected Christ's gospel in our lives)....
YES, this IS where REAL Eternal Happiness can be found!
(and certainly was found for us, as long as we kept our promises and our focus on Christ's Gospel, the first 10 years of our marriage)
I found this out the hard way.
So, family and friends, I've decided each week I will add a new album page (front and back) along with my own descriptions of what I remember, to this Blog series, as I am able to and have time to do so.
~Some pics are out of date (or order) due to their misplacement thru the years...and finding them at later dates, but the majority of them go in chronological order.
Each page will come with a small explanation of what I can remember of them and the surrounding circumstances, so that more info and feelings will explain the settings of the pictures.
(that's right FEELINGS...they are NOT a bad thing)