Trust me, I know, I do! ☺
~It is so fun and easy to be married to your opposite. They compliment you, they strengthen your weaknesses, and they help you grow in areas you need the most. I believe MOST people ARE in this type of relationship.
Like I said, it is 'nice' and 'comfortable' being in a relationship of any kind with someone who is your opposite! Trust me, I know, I did for 17 years.
SO, what about being in a relationship, marriage, or living with or being in the same home with, a person who is JUST like you? Someone who is NOT your opposite...they are, well, like I said almost exactly JUST LIKE you??
It can be irritating, frustrating, and humbling to watch yourself and your weaknesses, and your bad habits, etc. right in front of you.
Its Valentines month....great time to reflect on this subject. ♥ That's where this quote above comes into perfect play.
When you LOVE YOURSELF (in a non-selfish and caring way) you learn or use the Golden Rule....you know the one, that says "Do Unto Others As You Would Have Done Unto You".
Well, IF you ARE staring into the eyes of someone who is JUST like you, this is when you realize that this person IS you...then you can begin to treat them the way YOU want to be treated. This can be a little intimating...
This has been a GREAT thing in my life!! (Although a trial, yes, it has helped me tremendously)
Well, when I was married to Bernd Holler we were opposites and we complimented each other and it was rather EASY to live with someone like him. Over many years I started to become very much LIKE him since this is what happens when you live with someone for SO long. At first I was very grateful, I didn't mind, it was just what I needed to grow....until I started to lose my REAL self !!!
(The REAL Lisa was (and IS) someone who was, all her young life; patient, kind, shy, naive, caring, loving, Godly, Spiritual, moral, soft spoken, clean language, clean living of no alcohol, drugs or harmful things to my body, Holy (separate from the World), tolerant, slow to anger, easy to get along with, selfless, honest, God-fearing, loving etc. etc.)
(You get the picture)
My young boyfriend and eventually husband, Bernd Holler, was ALL the opposites!!! My extreme OPPOSITE.
Sure, being together so long, it looked like he started to act, pick up and mimic on some of my decent and honorable qualities (only God knows if this is true)...however, for sure the opposite was happening to ME....I started to pick up, internalize and become, on much of his indecent, obnoxious, and dishonorable qualities!
Is it any wonder that over many years my Soul begged and ached for me to move on and move away from such filth against my strongly held religious beliefs that you don't give up on people?
( THATS where I didn't love myself and was too blind to see the damage I was doing to myself, the REAL me, until it was ALMOST TOO LATE) Didn't I matter? Didn't anyone LOVE me?? Was it MY job to LOVE myself, in a selfless way????????
Why do I start this blog out with these details ??
Because I want you to know that I DO KNOW the difference....living with your opposite ...and then the opposite.... living with someone who is JUST LIKE YOU...they ARE YOU!!! (more than, let's say, half)
When you meet someone who is JUST LIKE YOU...most times it is very difficult to tolerate them...to be around them....etc. WHY? They remind you of who you ARE and that means, even the UGLY sides of you that you did not know existed or didn't care to examine.
My dear companion and soul-mate, Silvio Rodolfo Acosta is SO much like me...it's amazing! This is what is SO attractive (like a magnet) about him to me. He is a boy version of ME! (in many ways)
So, you can imagine how difficult it was in 2003 to begin a life with this wonderful man at the time that we began to date, marry and eventually be sealed on Earth by the Priesthood of God.
I had taken on very much of my ex, and was trying to desperately go back to my real self.....so my soul-mate Rudy was a stark reminded of the old Lisa, the one who I had left behind. So I was so grateful to have him back into my life after 13 years....
My Spirit and Heart were and was in 'Heaven', so relieved, and so desperate for this Godly reminder of how to be a good person and live a good life, while my mind was in torture at seeing who I had to work at being again.
Also, when you live with 'yourself', like I said earlier, you are sharply reminded of who you are and what your weaknesses are. It is extremely difficult to live with a version of 'yourself'....trust me.
*On top of this, my sweet soul-mate comes from a completely different background, culture, and heritage than myself and we OFTEN misunderstand each other's desires, comments and wishes so it can be very irratating!! Mainly because our understanding or definitions of words and phrases are sometimes different and we can completely miscommunicate our feelings and thoughts.
♥Thankfully, after we are mistakenly deeply offended, or the deep offense takes place.....we can miraculously work out our differences BECAUSE regardless of our petty misunderstandings ....we come back to the deep awareness of of our deep soul-mate connection.... and our eternal LOVE that is timeless.
This can be extremely painful...yet extremely rewarding!!
(it may not make sense to people who have not experienced this)
So, what has this soulmate relationship with Silvio Rudy taught me in this life?? That as I see he is the male version of ME.....and IF I truly love myself as this quote above encourages us to do... I MUST see him as ME and I MUST (to have great Peace) do unto him as I would like/love to have done to me!
That difficult...yet that simple!!!
So for others like me...this soul-mate (living with the person just like you) type of relationship has (over many years of great struggling) brought me finally back to being who I was in my youth. It has been a trying and awesome blessing...which has fulfilled my desire to become (again after years of being taught to be selfish in a non-loving way) the woman who desires to and does TREAT OTHERS the way (kindly, lovingly and in service) she wants to be treated. Selfless
After so many years of living with my soulmate, I have come to be at peace in my heart and do enjoy living with him....as long as I can continue to treat him as myself. This is vitally important.
It has been a great blessing.
So, when I want to "Love Myself" and treat my eternal companion in a Godly way .....I simply see (in my mind's eye) myself (in a male version of course, Rudy) standing near me, or lying next to me in bed, or sitting next to me while watching a movie, or speaking to me directly in conversation etc....and I automatically become a very loving, caring, selfless person again to my other 1/2!
*(Now I fully understand WHY people say that someone like their spouse, is their other half) ☺
IS it difficult... after 17 years of being taught to be SELFISH ???
You bet! (Of course)
*But is it worth it? To become my Better self? To spread and share this LOVE to my soul-mate? To even HAVE my soulmate in this lifetime? ....The male version of MYSELF?
I've come to this conclusion .... YES it IS !
So, Go LOVE YOURSELF... in a Godly way, please, and
"Do Unto Others as YOU would like things Done Unto You"... of course to those who deserve this love.....and trust me, you won't go wrong ♥
Lastly, may you find YOUR soulmate and/or your God, in this lifetime, who can show you this eternal perspective and love, is my prayer for you, and your loved ones....
in the name of Jesus Christ.....
(O.K. excuse me, please, while I go into my kitchen and juice some yummy fresh fruits/veggies into a lovely and healthy drink for those who live in my home and I deeply love ~ like my loved ones ~
....question is? Are you ? )
Check out this super nice video....
Marcus B. Nash