I have been able to do a lot of thinking these Holidays, and I am trying with my whole heart to do what is right, even when I have been mistreated. I've had a lot going on lately in my life. God is working miracles lately. I have often wondered "Why" are my children (you) running from me? Yes I can blame certain people for their bitterness towards me, but that is an obstacle I would like to overcome.
I CAN have a better life.... if I can accept more of what God has in store for me. I have a good life, I have a good husband, I have a good son, and I have a great home. It is sad that my children are not here, and I wish they were here but they are not, so the next best thing is to pray that somehow they will somehow be a small part of my life, in some way....
When I went to Gramp's Hatch this year I had my mind so much on my kids and how much fun we had with my boys and Gramp's in years gone by. I remembered how much fun we had when they were little. Gramp's would make us a big dinner and we would eat up his good country cooking and would laugh and play games and have so much fun with him. He is so gentle and kind. We all would love being at Gramp's house and mountain Cabin! I was hoping so much they would have been with us having fun this year again.
After much prayer I have been learning a lot from God recently. He is opening my eyes on many levels. I am slowly finally being able to forgive so much more. God wants me to do this, and be this. It is very difficult I must admit.
I felt that I need to start posting lots more positive posts. I have been feeling that I should want to wish my ex the best in life, no matter what...and hope that he is having the kind of happiness and peace that I am experiencing in my life.
On many of my previous blogs a lot of my hurt would come through, and I would post that when I shouldn't. I have been doing a lot of thinking about how I don't want to do that anymore this year and always. I want to show my children how much happiness I have been able to have in my life... and I would love to share that kindness and happiness with them.
This is my New Years goal. I will certainly pray for MORE of this.
So, I would so much like to have my other boys, in my life more. I would like to show them how much love I have for them. I would like to share my good life with them. You can never have enough loving people in your life to love you! I am choosing to let go of my ways and am letting God work this out for all of us.
If my children are Happy ...I am happy.
I am trying to be obedient and I only want the best for everyone!
I am content, happy and I have more than enough love to share, and I would love to include my boys in my life.
They will always be welcome in my home and life when they are ready....
God knows that we all need lots of people in our lives to love us ....and I feel my boys would benefit greatly by having all of us there to give them more love, support and kindness to make this year and their lives even better!
Happy New 2013 Year!