As a youth, I was fortunate enough to have good parents who taught me that I should NOT date until I was at least 16 years old. Looking back, this was excellent advice...only now I still feel that 16 was probably too young.
There are a lot of reasons or factors as to why this is excellent advice. Some include the fact that the earlier you start dating, the earlier you feel ready to marry and may not have found who God wanted you to be with and this would lead to divorce and much heart ache.
Also, the sooner you get involved in serious relationships the easier it is to make mistakes with who you were or were NOT meant to be with in this life. I suppose it all leads to the same outcome.
As LDS parents (or just plain good parents everywhere) we are teaching our son Alex, (and would have any of his brothers if they were with us), the wise and successful teaching of NOT dating until you are at least 16 and then at the beginning, for the first year or two, ONLY dating in groups.
Don't take my word on it...the proof is in the success of those who lived this teaching. There are many people who lived this principle and are highly aware that it played a HUGE part of their success in finding the mate that God had for them.
Also, there are plenty of people in this world who have been deeply hurt in a young relationship which they got into too early in life ...which left deep hurtful scars in their hearts... when this could have been avoided.
Of course, God should lead you in all your decisions... but this is a wonderful guideline to practice while trying to understand Gods guidance in your growing up years.
Here is a fun scenario to show what to do ~ or what NOT to do~ in a dating situation:
Once you turn 16, group dating is a great way to build friendships. You’ll want to keep in mind a few things. Follow the example below to see what outcomes your decisions may have.
I really like this fun role play above, to show how to have successful dating years.
Every Monday Night, we as a family, always have a FUN learning and growing Family Home Evening lesson (and get together) in our home... to teach our son important lessons in life that will bring him closer to his Father in heaven, and to hopefully help him in having a successful and happy life.
There are a lot of reasons or factors as to why this is excellent advice. Some include the fact that the earlier you start dating, the earlier you feel ready to marry and may not have found who God wanted you to be with and this would lead to divorce and much heart ache.
Also, the sooner you get involved in serious relationships the easier it is to make mistakes with who you were or were NOT meant to be with in this life. I suppose it all leads to the same outcome.
As LDS parents (or just plain good parents everywhere) we are teaching our son Alex, (and would have any of his brothers if they were with us), the wise and successful teaching of NOT dating until you are at least 16 and then at the beginning, for the first year or two, ONLY dating in groups.
Don't take my word on it...the proof is in the success of those who lived this teaching. There are many people who lived this principle and are highly aware that it played a HUGE part of their success in finding the mate that God had for them.
Also, there are plenty of people in this world who have been deeply hurt in a young relationship which they got into too early in life ...which left deep hurtful scars in their hearts... when this could have been avoided.
Of course, God should lead you in all your decisions... but this is a wonderful guideline to practice while trying to understand Gods guidance in your growing up years.
Here is a fun scenario to show what to do ~ or what NOT to do~ in a dating situation:
Once you turn 16, group dating is a great way to build friendships. You’ll want to keep in mind a few things. Follow the example below to see what outcomes your decisions may have.
- 1. You worked up the nerve to ask someone out. Great job. Your date asks, “Who else is coming?” You answer:
- a. John and Suzy. (Go to #2.)
- b. No one. (Go to #3.)
- a. John and Suzy. (Go to #2.)
- 2. Good answer. Group dating is important in your teenage years. What do you have planned for the date?
- a. Go to a movie. (Go to #4.)
- b. Go on a hike. (Go to #5.)
- a. Go to a movie. (Go to #4.)
- 3. It’s time to rethink this one. Your date says she won’t go without a group. What do you do?
- a. Make it a group date instead. (Go to #2.)
- b. Stay home.
- a. Make it a group date instead. (Go to #2.)
- 4. A nice idea, but maybe not the best option. You enjoyed the show, but you sat next to each other for two hours without saying a word. What do you do next?
- a. Go home; you’re tired. (Go to #6.)
- b. Make a dessert. (Go to #7.)
- a. Go home; you’re tired. (Go to #6.)
- 5. Sounds fun! And it will give you lots of opportunities to get to know one another. Did you tell your date what the plan is?
- a. Of course! (Go to #8.)
- b. Whoops! (Go to #9.)
- a. Of course! (Go to #8.)
- 6. You take your date home, and she thanks you for the nice time. It’s too bad you didn’t really get to know her better instead of just watching a movie.
- 7. The group gets ice cream at someone’s home. The dessert is good, and you enjoy talking with everyone. It’s almost curfew. What do you do?
- a. Take your date home. (Go to #10.)
- b. Stay a little longer—you’re having fun. (Go to #11.)
- a. Take your date home. (Go to #10.)
- 8. You enjoyed the hike and really got to know everyone in the group. What now?
- a. Make a dessert. (Go to #7.)
- b. Take your date home. (Go to #10.)
- a. Make a dessert. (Go to #7.)
- 9. Your date wasn’t prepared for hiking, so you wait inside the door for a few minutes while she changes. You’re a little late in meeting up with the group, so the hike ends up shorter than you’d planned, but it’s still fun. What now?
- a. Make a dessert. (Go to #7.)
- b. Take your date home. (Go to #10.)
- a. Make a dessert. (Go to #7.)
- 10. Your date says she had a great time, thanks you for the evening, and says, “We should do that again sometime!” You smile all the way home.
- 11. When you return home after curfew, you and your date both get grounded. Even though you had fun, your date’s dad won’t let you go out again.
- A date is a planned activity that allows a young man and a young woman to get to know each other better.
- You should not date until you are at least 16 years old.
- When you begin dating, go with one or more additional couples.
- Avoid going on frequent dates with the same person.
- Plan dating activities that are safe, positive, and inexpensive and that will help you get to know each other.
- Go only to places where you can maintain your standards and remain close to the Spirit.
- Always be kind and respectful when you ask for a date or when you accept or decline one.
- While on a date, be courteous as you listen to others and express your own feelings.
I really like this fun role play above, to show how to have successful dating years.
Every Monday Night, we as a family, always have a FUN learning and growing Family Home Evening lesson (and get together) in our home... to teach our son important lessons in life that will bring him closer to his Father in heaven, and to hopefully help him in having a successful and happy life.
