WHY? Because really there is SO much to be grateful for.
Being in a state of Gratitude can make this life SOOO much more bearable. ~ we live in such an awesome Country with sooooo many goodies that we are literally very spoiled!!
HOW should we be grateful?
Easy, just remember that it was YOUR direct Hatch ancestors, William Bradford, who is credited for starting this awesome and solemn Holiday!
YOUR 4th Great-Grandmothers (Wealtha Bradford) 3rd great-Grandfather started this whole thing and his Journal is what America goes by!! Yay!
You come from VERY loved and honored bloodline Holler boys! Please never forget?
Trust me, things could be SO much worse than it is now!
What brings incredible JOY? The 'attitude' of 'Gratitude'.
Our direct ancestors were so grateful for coming to a new place where they had their freedom to worship the way their hearts and intuition felt they should or could. Yay!
This same attitude was passed down each generation until Wealtha and Ira S. Hatch found REAL truth and recognized it. No matter the persecution...they followed their hearts and joined the few members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and immediately were baptized with the real Power of the Priesthood, I might add. (go read that impressive story, when you have time) I did and it was pretty cool. I might add that even though I grew up in this faith of incredible amount of truth...it took me personally LEAVING it and being without it for about 15 years to finally KNOW what I had lost and then decided that it was worth it's weight in GOLD! (you have to experience to know it)
Each generation of ours, has found REAL truth, and is just our way...and this blessing is YOURS, just for being born a Hatch...go find it...its out there!!!! I promise..NOT for me..but for YOUR happiness!! Sure you can be happy in a little fishing boat...but what if there was a Yacht with YOUR name on it waiting for you...just for the taking....wouldn't you want it?
I am grateful for each and every blessing that I have and am being granted everyday!
I could count them all day! They never seem to stop! So many days I just want to reach out to you and give you some of them...if you want them. It is so hard NOT to spoil you
Even the simple things like being able to be a Mother to you is so humbling Holler sons, even if you think I am not...even at a distance, it will never change. I AM and will always be, your Mother...even through all the horrible stories that are mainly NOT true...I will continue to be YOURS.
The duties might change...but the cold hard facts will NOT.
Something, hard as you try, you or the world, will NOT and can never take from me!
For example; (and I say this with humility and kindness)
~Remember how your dad told you that I had abandoned you on a street corner?
~Remember how your dad told you that 'I' had selfishly sold all your toys and possessions?
~Remember how your dad told you that I had stolen custody of your brother Alex and then kept him from you?? (One of you told me the whole story)
So, I reminded him that all of that was NOT true...but was twisted by your dad to make himself look better. Sad, that he felt he should do that to earn your love. He should have known that I have respected him all his life and he had no need to do that.
I reminded this son, that when Custody was exchange to your dad, with my sincere hope that your dad and I could share our children, since he had abandoned you for two years and I felt that he should keep his calling as a father and NOT try to escape it...it was at that time that YOUR DAD demanded that at the exchange you and your brothers be left at the nearby street corner near my home. (go ask his lawyer...AND I also have witnesses to this fact) I didn't know 'why' Bernd demanded this? Until recently!
I disagreed with Bernd to leave you on the nearby street corner, and instead, because your dad was taking a long time from LA, to get you, and I had to NOT have custody of you by 12 noon, or your dad could have done more dirty things to me...I chose to ask Sister Bowman, the Relief Society President and good friend, to take you kids for a few hours until Bernd picked you up.
I was convinced that your dad was running late and I wanted for both of us to be 'legal' and fair. I had no idea he was doing it so as to use against me.
Sister Bowman was more than happy to take you three youngest, to her house, a few blocks away, until Bernd picked you up. Heavens, You were NEVER abandoned by me! EVER
It was my sincere HOPE and belief that Bernd would see that children need BOTH parents in their lives and would shortly...within months...renegotiate his demanded harsh terms and we would both respectfully co-parent and share you boys so that YOUR needs came first. I thought I knew Bernd Holler. Sadly, I was mistaken and you boys, and I, have both suffered greatly for this.
For this I am dearly sorry. Could you, my sons, somehow forgive me for my lack of awareness at that time? Someday? Somehow?
Again, when your dad realized that he MUST take Custody and be a father, he demanded that you and your brothers come to his house with NOTHING! (other than ONE sack of a few change of clothes) THIS was HIS demand. I thought that this was not fair to our boys! This again was cruel of Bernd, in my mind.
I again, have witness'es to these facts.
As a mother, I thought this was CRUEL and unusual to not allow you boys to have what you loved, but Bernds lawyer told me that this is what Bernd demanded! However, out of respect I did as he requested, but I kindly asked Sister Bowman if she would (at least) PLEASE try to get the big white Polar Bear into Bernd's black truck for Andrew.
To go ahead and ask...and if Bernd wouldn't take it...I would come get it later. She agreed and surprisingly Bernd took it to everyone's surprise and to my delight!!
These details, or facts, are Crystal clear in my mind and I remember them like they were JUST yesterday. Also, I have witnesses to ALL of this. For Bernd to turn around and blame it on me is completely UNFAIR and UNTRUE!!
You do not have to take ONLY MY TESTIMONY, for all this...there are witnesses to all this!
Then, when Bernd surprised ALL of us...all of the Hatch family.... by disappearing with you, our children, my children, and would NOT communicate with us... OR even our lawyers...we were all heartbroken and finally realized that Bernds ill intent was to spitefully use all my sons to punish me, and us. We were all devastated beyond words, dear Holler boys.
My greatest source of emotional pain was the fact of KNOWING that my sons would grow up without their loving and deeply caring biological mother. A choice Bernd Holler was making! NOT me...NOT the courts...NO ONE but Bernd Holler and his bitter bitter heart. I don't tell you these things so that you hate your dad, disrespect your dad, or even hold a grudge...but so that you understand truth. Forgive others for their weaknesses and move on. However, you must know TRUTH.
Again, I felt bad for your dad that he felt that this was his only option. Especially when he KNEW that we were always 'for him' as a father...NOT against him. Getting along and being kind is ALWAYS better than being right or 'winning'.
About Alex, your father and all the legal paperwork and all those involved will tell you exactly what I am saying here is true, which is this....
Bernd Holler sent Alex away because Alex was very difficult to raise (Bernd admitted this to Gramps Hatch) but Bernd did NOT want Alex to live with me, his mother, out of simply Spite. He knew we were good parents and legally could have Alex IF ONLY Bernd would stop the lies he kept telling and then give consent without having to fight him.
Bernd knew that I had every right legally to have Alex, but he insisted and threatened that Alex MUST live with Gramps Hatch instead, since he knew I was desperate to raise my loved sons and this would hurt me deeply. Something that he felt I MUST suffer since I had moved on from our failing marriage.
I was deeply hurt, but still so grateful that one of you would be with my loving father, Gramps Hatch, who has a heart of Gold and you would feel real LOVE again. One was better than NONE.
It was after a year and half of your dad having almost NO contact with Alex...(even with us begging him to be a good father to Alex and you boys) and Bernd NOT even sending a dime to raise Alex...that we asked the Judge in Utah, fairly, (with Bernd knowing through phone conversations, AND legal paperwork) if Alex could come live with us in California..to which the Judge, seeing NO contest....gladly gave us Alex to be raised by us. We did NOT steal custody of our own son!!
Bernd even verbally admitted that he knew that eventually Alex would be with us....so WHY did he legally fight us after this? He didn't, NOT until we asked to have contact with YOU...the rest of the Holler children!
Alex being with the Hatch's was a GREAT blessing for all of us. Even for Bernd. THAT is why Bernd did not fight against it.
(until openly pressed about it further down the road)
Alex got to be with his biological mother who loved(s) you and him deeply...AND he was going to be raised by a good father, Rudy, who had a great compassion for him, and all of you, even though Alex is a great PAIN in the butt to raise!! lol. (he admits it today himself...hehe)
WE wanted so badly for him and you brothers to be able to see and contact each other...we tried several, dozens of times to convince Bernd that it was good for Alex and you brothers to have contact...but Bernd refused. So, when you accuse us of being selfish and not allowing you boys to see your brother Alex or visa versa...now you know WHY!
PLEASE stop believing the lies (twisted truths) you have been feed to CONFUSE you! (which is to keep you in a state of being 'controlled')
So you see...IF you have a bone to pick it is with your dad for anything you may have issues with. However we know that we are an easier target and you feel that we should take the majority of the pain. If that is what you feel...I can always oblige and then in turn take on that burden.... if you so feel it is mine to bear. We do not tell you this so that you are disrespectful to your dad...but so that you learn TRUTH.
No matter how many times you tell yourself that I do NOT exist, or that you can pretend that you do NOT have a relationship with me ALREADY...you are only lying to yourself and missing out on SO many blessings.
Based on how you grew up, 'who' you spent the last 14 years with and WHO was teaching you, or not teaching you truth...what and how, how can I NOT understand your pain and frustration. ....that is OK, I feel you! You must find TRUTH and move on!
I even spiritually take these hurts/pains of yours many times....but that is another story or discussion for another day, if you're ever interested in knowing HOW that works.
I only remind you Holler boys of these fact today, because it was recently brought up and I felt that again you should be reminded of some truths. Truths that will hopefully SET YOU FREE! It is NOT so that you can blame me, or your father who felt that he must somehow WIN.
I am grateful to be your REAL mother, from afar. You can not take this from me...no matter HOW FAR you push me away and OUT of your lives.....and it is up to you to have your real mother in your life and receive the incredible blessings from this.
THIS is YOUR burden to figure out, carry and hopefully someday resolve.
I may not be perfect, but I have REAL love in my heart for all of you.
May you be ever GRATEFUL for the many blessings in your lives today and always.
Our respectful door and table are always open to all of you, when you are ready to accept real love into your souls.
(minds and hearts.)
♥ Love, Mom
(even your thoughts of getting rid of me physically, mentally, or emotionally WON'T get rid of me...so sorry to those, who are thinking this or maybe even plotting this. I don't think you'd ever admit this consciously, but deep down I've noticed that you don't know HOW to rid yourselves of your issues through forgiveness because someone taught you that this is not real. Otherwise, we would be ALL getting along.
Maybe because you all don't believe in a Higher Power..you won't go there...when in reality, this is an avenue where you can find lasting peace, and understanding, until it gets all worked out in your hearts and minds. Please, find this higher power in depths of your quiet souls and listen to your Holy Ghost within, your higher self, and find Peace)