...and might I add...with one of the prettiest girls in the whole school !!
We are getting close to the end of this Photo Album. (This album is just one of dozens I created of myself and my children's lives.)
This Album of 1993-1994 was one that I found first out in our garage this past year, and was the most accessible ....so this is why I started with posting pictures from this fun one.
I suppose I should go back and start posting from the first Album I own of me, as a young teenager, when I got my first camera, so that I can post these fun memories in a more "chronological order".
I guess maybe I felt OK starting with this Album....since maybe Jordan and Austin needed to see these ones from this time era, for some reason? (Maybe because they had forgotten about their loving youth and caring upbringing by their biological mother who does exist, and who did and does love them....no matter how much they try to forget, ....and who loves them so very deeply) OK, enough said...
Below, you see me, the mom, sitting in our newly remodeled kitchen bathroom with my first two sons Austin and Jordan. Austin is smiling (as usual, he was always so happy AND helpful) Jordan is trying out his new potty training chair, that I had bought him. It was that time.... Time to train him to use the big toilet. (He would soon be two years old) He has such a cute grin on his face here. (I will include a larger version of this picture below).
Below this, I caught Jordan sitting in Sassy's (the kitty) litter box!! He looked so adorable, I had to snap a photo. lol (look at Jordan's long golden locks) ...
Above, you see Austin sitting in our garage in Manti, UT. for a haircut. I was pretty good at giving easy childhood haircuts, so I would do this for Austin and Jordan here at home. (You also see another Pinckney b-day party picture thrown in this page) Then you also see a nice pic of Austin and Jordan riding in Austin's Little Tykes plastic car on our driveway. I see that we had installed our new white wooden fence around our property by that time.
Below, on the back side of this page, you see Jordan getting his VERY FIRST hair cut!! You see that it is a warm, beautiful Summer morning and Jordan's hair was getting a little too long and it was his turn for a haircut out in the front of our garage, right after his older brother Austin was done getting his. Jordan's hair is looking a little messy in this picture below, right before I got started...but don't you just love his cute little grin he was giving mommy and the camera for his 'before' pic? .....
After Jordan had sat so quietly for his hair cut for me, I again took an 'after' photo of his new hair style. Doesn't he look SO handsome now? Bye Bye baby golden locks...Hello handsome little clean-cut toddler!
Look at those adorable chubby little feet hanging off of my tall kitchen stool ♥ (I had painted and upholstered these bar stools)
While living in Manti Utah we had many family friends who had kids the same age as our kids. One family, the Pinckneys, had kids the same age as ours so we attended each other's birthday parties and spent lots of time together as friends. We had lots of fun times together over many years while living here in this small, quaint, adorable Country town. It was beautiful raising our kids out in this quiet, safe and loving area of Utah. To this day, even through the trials I would endure with the wife of this family, I still remain friends with Lori to this day.
Below, on the front of this page, you see cute little Austin having fun at Chad and Cara Pinckneys summer birthday parties. (Austin and Cara were close in age) ...
Above, you see me standing next to our new Suburban (used but new to us, since we usually bought cars that were 2-3 years old to avoid the large costs of a brand new car) We had just bought this family vehicle down in CA. in Dec. 1993 (I must have found this past photo around the house and included it here, even though in the album we are actually in the Summer of 94 now). I am standing in front of Bernds California business office and roof tear-off warehouse. I see that I am wearing a maternity shirt, so I see I am preggers with my baby Michael.
Below, on the back of this album page, you see another 1993 photo that got snuck in to this 1994 page (out of order) because I must have found it later and threw it in here. You see that we are home in Utah visiting Grammy Hatch's house in Provo for Christmas 93, and this photo is of Susanne (my sister) holding Jordan (who is only 14 months old here) in Grammys front family room upstairs. You see Grammy sitting on her couch, (the couch that I grew up with) holding baby Amber Lynn McEwen (Susy's baby). You see cute, smiling Austin next to his Grammy Hatch, looking so adorable and happy as always!
This is a sweet photo for sure.
Then next to this pic is one of Bernd standing next to a new car that he had just picked up at the Car Auction in CA. near his business in Placentia CA. He must of kept this one down in Cali. for running around.
Below this, I had pasted another 2 nice pics. of our new black family Chevrolet suburban parked at our home in Manti, Utah. We had put a small tv sitting on the center console for our children to watch VHS cassettes in this big car. This was a new thing. .....
Above, you see an adorable photo of my young son's Austin and Jordan standing together in front of our Manti house (100 year old home which we were remodeling) holding their sweet friend and kitty 'Sassy'. As you see here, we had not built our wrap around porch yet, which later would be right behind Jordan here in this photo. I LOVE Jordan's little lederhosen he is wearing. They had been given to Austin as a toddler but they now they fit Jordan. He looks so adorable here in this photo. They both had such light, soft, blonde hair and bluish/grey eyes. Austin was such a GOOD big brother and obedient son! Actually they both were fun, good and awesome sons! I loved them with all my heart, and they were my glory to motherhood. I felt so blessed with them.
Here is the closeup of this darling photo.
LOOK at those ADORABLE dimples!!
(OH Glorious will be the day when I can kiss those soft cheeks in tender and respectful compassion once again, as I was so privileged and blessed to do so, for those many years long ago !)
Above here, we are having Birthday Cake for Austin, at Grammys house in Provo, Utah (after the water park).
Below on the back of this page I must of snuck another cute photo of Austin and Jordan at the water park. Look at that dirty little foot of Jordans. He had worn water socks all day so his little feet wouldn't burn on the hot cement that day. (Looks like I hadn't cut his beautiful hair just yet, since it was sooooo pretty and he was still only 20 months old.)
Above, you see us, Mom, Austin, and Jordan swimming in our jacuzzi tub. Sometimes we would lower the temperature in this and use it like a warm pool during the hot summer while living in the quaint town of Manti, Utah (out in the County)
This old barn had been turned into our spa room and upstairs school room for Austin's kindergarten lessons and games. (We had remodeled it) We really had some fun days in this old barn. I would always laugh when Jordan's life jacket would turn him on his back. He would just lie there until I would flip him back upright. Both Austin and Jordan were easy and amazingly good young children. FUN memories!
Below on this front of the 60th page in this one album, you see that we are still at the funeral of my beloved grandmother (Oma) Smith. The 1st photo is one of all of Oma's children (except her oldest Joseph who died as a 3 day old baby...or maybe he is here in Spirit?) Anyway, you see her 4 sons, (left to right) Theodore (Ted), Jerry, Robert (Bob), my mom Marjorie, and then then William Cornelius (Bill). You can get a small glimpse of my Oma's sister in the bottom left corner. My grandmother had a beautiful casket I think. What a beautiful flower arrangement on top too! (more below) .....
Above, again here on this front page, you see that we held Austins 5th birthday party at the FUN Seven Peaks Water Park, in Provo Utah with his family and cousins etc. (Be sure to ZOOM in for a better look at faces)
The pictures show myself, (mom) with my sisters Michelle and Susanne and some of their first babies, (Elizabeth and Amber) with Jordan sitting on my lap or near me in these photos. It was a super fun day. Boy, I'm looking a bit pale? lol.
Below, on the back of this album page, you see all of us again. I really like the one of Amber and Jordan playing on the towels. they look so adorable ♥ The very last photo I believe I was holding Elizabeth Philpot while holding on to my baby Jordan. (Good memories)
p.s. Alex loves going here to this Water Park. We took him last Summer.
** It's difficult to live with someone who is JUST like you!!
Trust me, I know, I do! ☺
~It is so fun and easy to be married to your opposite. They compliment you, they strengthen your weaknesses, and they help you grow in areas you need the most. I believe MOST people ARE in this type of relationship.
Like I said, it is 'nice' and 'comfortable' being in a relationship of any kind with someone who is your opposite! Trust me, I know, I did for 17 years.
SO, what about being in a relationship, marriage, or living with or being in the same home with, a person who is JUST like you? Someone who is NOT your opposite...they are, well, like I said almost exactly JUST LIKE you??
It can be irritating, frustrating, and humbling to watch yourself and your weaknesses, and your bad habits, etc. right in front of you.
Its Valentines month....great time to reflect on this subject. ♥ That's where this quote above comes into perfect play.
When you LOVE YOURSELF (in a non-selfish and caring way) you learn or use the Golden Rule....you know the one, that says "Do Unto Others As You Would Have Done Unto You".
Well, IF you ARE staring into the eyes of someone who is JUST like you, this is when you realize that this person IS you...then you can begin to treat them the way YOU want to be treated. This can be a little intimating...
This has been a GREAT thing in my life!! (Although a trial, yes, it has helped me tremendously)
Well, when I was married to Bernd Holler we were opposites and we complimented each other and it was rather EASY to live with someone like him. Over many years I started to become very much LIKE him since this is what happens when you live with someone for SO long. At first I was very grateful, I didn't mind, it was just what I needed to grow....until I started to lose my REAL self !!!
(The REAL Lisa was (and IS) someone who was, all her young life; patient, kind, shy, naive, caring, loving, Godly, Spiritual, moral, soft spoken, clean language, clean living of no alcohol, drugs or harmful things to my body, Holy (separate from the World), tolerant, slow to anger, easy to get along with, selfless, honest, God-fearing, loving etc. etc.)
(You get the picture)
My young boyfriend and eventually husband, Bernd Holler, was ALL the opposites!!! My extreme OPPOSITE.
Sure, being together so long, it looked like he started to act, pick up and mimic on some of my decent and honorable qualities (only God knows if this is true)...however, for sure the opposite was happening to ME....I started to pick up, internalize and become, on much of his indecent, obnoxious, and dishonorable qualities!
Is it any wonder that over many years my Soul begged and ached for me to move on and move away from such filth against my strongly held religious beliefs that you don't give up on people?
( THATS where I didn't love myself and was too blind to see the damage I was doing to myself, the REAL me, until it was ALMOST TOO LATE) Didn't I matter? Didn't anyone LOVE me?? Was it MY job to LOVE myself, in a selfless way????????
Why do I start this blog out with these details ??
Because I want you to know that I DO KNOW the difference....living with your opposite ...and then the opposite.... living with someone who is JUST LIKE YOU...they ARE YOU!!! (more than, let's say, half)
When you meet someone who is JUST LIKE YOU...most times it is very difficult to tolerate them...to be around them....etc. WHY? They remind you of who you ARE and that means, even the UGLY sides of you that you did not know existed or didn't care to examine.
My dear companion and soul-mate, Silvio Rodolfo Acosta is SO much like me...it's amazing! This is what is SO attractive (like a magnet) about him to me. He is a boy version of ME! (in many ways)
So, you can imagine how difficult it was in 2003 to begin a life with this wonderful man at the time that we began to date, marry and eventually be sealed on Earth by the Priesthood of God.
I had taken on very much of my ex, and was trying to desperately go back to my real self.....so my soul-mate Rudy was a stark reminded of the old Lisa, the one who I had left behind. So I was so grateful to have him back into my life after 13 years....
My Spirit and Heart were and was in 'Heaven', so relieved, and so desperate for this Godly reminder of how to be a good person and live a good life, while my mind was in torture at seeing who I had to work at being again.
Also, when you live with 'yourself', like I said earlier, you are sharply reminded of who you are and what your weaknesses are. It is extremely difficult to live with a version of 'yourself'....trust me.
*On top of this, my sweet soul-mate comes from a completely different background, culture, and heritage than myself and we OFTEN misunderstand each other's desires, comments and wishes so it can be very irratating!! Mainly because our understanding or definitions of words and phrases are sometimes different and we can completely miscommunicate our feelings and thoughts.
♥Thankfully, after we are mistakenly deeply offended, or the deep offense takes place.....we can miraculously work out our differences BECAUSE regardless of our petty misunderstandings ....we come back to the deep awareness of of our deep soul-mate connection.... and our eternal LOVE that is timeless.
This can be extremely painful...yet extremely rewarding!!
(it may not make sense to people who have not experienced this)
So, what has this soulmate relationship with Silvio Rudy taught me in this life?? That as I see he is the male version of ME.....and IF I truly love myself as this quote above encourages us to do... I MUST see him as ME and I MUST (to have great Peace) do unto him as I would like/love to have done to me!
That difficult...yet that simple!!!
So for others like me...this soul-mate (living with the person just like you) type of relationship has (over many years of great struggling) brought me finally back to being who I was in my youth. It has been a trying and awesome blessing...which has fulfilled my desire to become (again after years of being taught to be selfish in a non-loving way) the woman who desires to and does TREAT OTHERS the way (kindly, lovingly and in service) she wants to be treated. Selfless
After so many years of living with my soulmate, I have come to be at peace in my heart and do enjoy living with him....as long as I can continue to treat him as myself. This is vitally important.
It has been a great blessing.
So, when I want to "Love Myself" and treat my eternal companion in a Godly way .....I simply see (in my mind's eye) myself (in a male version of course, Rudy) standing near me, or lying next to me in bed, or sitting next to me while watching a movie, or speaking to me directly in conversation etc....and I automatically become a very loving, caring, selfless person again to my other 1/2!
*(Now I fully understand WHY people say that someone like their spouse, is their other half) ☺
IS it difficult... after 17 years of being taught to be SELFISH ???
You bet! (Of course)
*But is it worth it? To become my Better self? To spread and share this LOVE to my soul-mate? To even HAVE my soulmate in this lifetime? ....The male version of MYSELF?
I've come to this conclusion .... YES it IS !
So, Go LOVE YOURSELF... in a Godly way, please, and
"Do Unto Others as YOU would like things Done Unto You"... of course to those who deserve this love.....and trust me, you won't go wrong ♥
Lastly, may you find YOUR soulmate and/or your God, in this lifetime, who can show you this eternal perspective and love, is my prayer for you, and your loved ones....
in the name of Jesus Christ.....
(O.K. excuse me, please, while I go into my kitchen and juice some yummy fresh fruits/veggies into a lovely and healthy drink for those who live in my home and I deeply love ~ like my loved ones ~
....question is? Are you ? )
Check out this super nice video....
Marcus B. Nash
I often wonder if my children think that I somehow abandoned them when my ex, their father, would NOT let me see them or raise them after they went to go live with him for the second half of their lives.
Well, I did not. However, I DID trust God that he would intervene and raise my dear boys, Austin, Jordan, Jacob, and Andrew, when I could not be there.
This is a fantastic short clip on how this plays out in many scenarios in life.
I love my children, and I pray everyday that somehow they were able to reach out to God during their young lives and have The Master be the one who guided them and their decisions to greater happiness than even I could have brought them. ♥
These are the last photos of our trip to Lake Tahoe CA.
Below you see Jordan and Me, mommy, sleeping in our Tent. I love his smile here. He was so adorable. Then you see a few of us going into Lake Tahoe to wade. Again, there is a photo of us hiking around the woods of Lake Tahoe. Then in town, nearby on the Nevada side of this Lake, we went into a Casino for a buffet dinner. Opps I see the photo got sideways when I scanned it in my computer...hehehe. However, here we are with the Vreeken family. We left our kids with our babysitter at the Lake while we went out. The Vreekens didn't bring a babysitter so they are all there with us. (you might have to ZOOM in, to see it better)
On the back page are some photos of my dear Oma's funeral in Summer of 1994. (I think she lived to be 85 or 86?)
I super LOVED my mom's mother Helena Smith so very much. She was such a sweet example of a strong, loving, faithful, Godly woman and she was so close to my heart. ♥
Below you see one of her 3 sisters (who were still all living) sitting next to my mom (Grammy Hatch) and another sister in a Purple dress next to my mom. All around are my cousins and the Smith relatives for her burial in Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a beautiful day for a beautiful funeral, for a beautiful woman!
Here are MORE of the Lake Tahoe vacation photos. (These might be much nicer Zoomed In)
The Vreeken family, the Holler family... and their young children.
The first picture is of all the kids together sitting on a big rock near the lake. My two boys, Austin and Jordan Holler on the left. (I love how Austin is making sure his younger brother is sitting correctly for the photo. Always so helpful)
The 3 kids on the right are Laura and Keith's kids. Kami, Matthew (Austin's age) and their youngest daughter in the middle, Melanie.
The rest of the pics are of all of us, while we did a fun Hike in the park and surrounding mountains around Lake Tahoe.
More of Lake Tahoe on the back of this page. Here is one of me, Lisa, trying some waterskiing on this very cold lake....brrrrrrr. I had a wet suit which made it super nice! I was having fun!
~Mother of 6 Handsome Sons.
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