It was an exciting evening. I had just finished eating at Taco Bell just down the street from here on Santa Margarita Blvd. in Mission Viejo a block away from my 1st house when I went into labor!
I came home to the house with Austin and Bernd and we hung out in the Jacuzzi spa outside the backyard which is on the corner and faces this big intersection of SM Blvd and Margarita Blvd. but up a small hill away from traffics view.
I hung out in this above ground Jacuzzi tube for a few hours while we waited for the nurse mid-wife Joyce to come to our home this evening 20 years ago.
She came soon, but with a new girl I had never met, but she seemed nice enough. She was training to be a mid-wife herself and needed the practice.
I then labored more over the next few hours and like I said, my baby boy came only a few (6 1/2) hours later!
He had a hard time breathing and after he was pinking up and looking good, I had a problem and had to be rushed off to Saddleback Memorial Hospital in an ambulance after a nice Priesthood blessing to save my life, since I almost bled to death. The home birth was wonderful, my personal problem of hemorrhaging was not so nice...but it all ended well...AND that's what is important!
This is and was a beautiful time of year, especially in awesome Southern California.
I super LOVE the fall, so this was such a nice time to have a new baby boy in our home!!!! (right before the holidays)
We named him Jordan, and he was SO adorable, especially with his big dimples and perfect body!
There is NOT a day that goes by that I do NOT think of him! I think of him EVERYDAY and miss him terribly.
I am sure he rarely thinks of me, since I am such a disappointment to him. I've heard that children grow up just NOT knowing how it feels to be a parent full of love for their children and then have them taken away and they just don't know how it feels if it happened to them.
I hope he never has to feel that terrible pain or anguish but I guess he just will never know my sorrow....(tears)
That's OK...I just want him to have a happy and successful life...that is what is MOST important.
Tomorrow I will wish him, the boy who is half me, a Happy Birthday, here on my Blog.....
Since I do not have an address on him...or even know how to get a hold of him.
I thought I had an email on him...but I don't think it works....but I will never give up on him.
Hopefully his heart will soften for me, in the future...You never know!!!
Until then I just dream about the wonderful wonderful day 20 years ago when I went through the most terrible, horrible, gut wrenching pain and suffering, but survived to be blessed with one of the most handsome, smart, loving, gorgeous miracles a God could ever bless a woman with...a super son named ....